I was in a cab on Saturday and was quite traumatised at the end of the ride. The cab driver engaged me in a conversation and was telling me about his previous job and his ex-boss. He continued to say his ex-boss had 3 wives. As we talked, I gathered from our conversation that this cab driver had no qualms with fooling around even though he is married but he drew the line at starting a relationship or marrying the gal.
He then said that as a woman entering marriage, she must not have rose-coloured glasses and be prepared that her husband would be unfaithful. She has to close one eye and yet respect her husband as head of the household (and not fool around even though her husband is!) --> How incredulous such theories! I couldn't believe my ears. I had the cheek to tell him that the interesting thing is that when a husband fools around, he is however not able to accept it when his wife does the same. He said the wife should respect the man as head of the household. I retorted that a lady would and likewise, the man should also respect the wife by being faithful!
The cab driver in driving home the point that all men are basically unfaithful (cos I had the cheek to say not all men are unfaithful) used the analogy that when a cat sees a fish, it would definitely eat it. I said all cats may think of eating a fish but not all will ACTUALLY eat it!
Interesting though was that even though this discussion was heavy-going, it was neither heated nor an angry one. But the end of it, i was wondering if Singapore men or men in particular, subscribed to this view? If so, what is the purpose of being involved in a relationship, a faithful one in which you can depend on this one person in your life who will not lie to you nor cheat on you? No other relationship in life is as dynamic, fragile, intimate as a marriage and why mar it if your intention was never to keep to the vows?
It made me wonder why people marry? A rash decision, for fun, or he/ she seems the best person at the moment. As I am starting to take that eternal step with my significant other, I wonder if my perception now will grow dull, bleak and hopeless like so many other married couples. I hope not, I pray not and I will work my heart out that it shall not be so. I'm not sure I can survive unfaithfuless in a sacred commitment like marriage.
Monday, May 17, 2004
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